It’s time to show some real gratitude for the happiness that has been bestowed upon me.

I wasn’t sure I’d ever look in the mirror and see my usual, crooked smile ever again. I was convinced I was bound to internally frown forever, until I started making decisions for myself, happiness being numero uno on that list. I know I’ve spoken on this before, but I’ve been reaping the benefits this year and I want to make sure I put something down to remind me when I’m feel a little lackluster – and I have been.

It is possible, yes, it is, for some one to make you happy, but they should not be your only source of happiness. Yes, it is possible for some thing to make you happy; but again, it should not be the only fountain of joy in your life. Your happiness is the responsibility of exactly no one but you. There are so, so many avenues to take to find internal happiness and peace; you just need the desire to find it. Because I made happiness a conscious decision every day this year, I was fortunate to reconnect with yoga, which opened up my heart and mind to all kinds of things, and deepen my love and appreciate for other. Not to mention, it helped strengthen my relationships with those around me.

In that same turn, I feel like my life has been on a deep cleanse, a yearlong Spring Clean, a purge, if you will. It is possible to find happiness in letting go; you just have to allow yourself. I’m not saying it feels good, and I’m not saying it’s easy, but you will be happier when you let go of the things that bind you to negativity. I don’t care to admit it, but I was down – really down, last week. It was one of those weeks where every morning was a wrong-side-of-the-bed-empty-coffee-pot kind of morning and every day rounded out to less than mediocre; just a nonsensical shitty week for me and every single one of my friends and several of my family members. I made jokes about Mercury’s retrograde, but if you’d have seen me last week, you’d have been convinced that yes indeed, the cosmos were relishing in the mischievousness.

I keep losing my other thoughts to this one, so maybe I should just write that down: happiness is a choice. It’s YOUR choice and no one else can make it for you, and you cannot punish the people in your life for not making you happy. That is all on you. Until you can look in the mirror and be happy with/for yourself, you’re going to spend a lot of negative energy, and that ends up being quite expensive. Your insecurities will constantly be whispering in your ear and the longer they persist, the harder they are to silence.

If you look at the world through a negative lens, that’s what you’re going to see. It is more than easy to stand before the world’s destruction and spend your time assessing the damage, wallowing in self-deprecation. People can beg and plead with you, but no one can pull you out of that pool except yourself – trust me, I know.

For crying out loud y’all, we live a world where beautiful things just pop out of the ground, we can feel the sun shine on our faces and observe planets that just so happen to hang out in the sky, for our viewing pleasure. Also….COFFEE BEANS? In a world like this, how hard is it to choose to be happy? Making that decision requires a good bit of raw honesty from you, I realize, and some days, you just don’t want to do it. It’s a pain in the ass to ask yourself these very necessary questions: “Am I making the right choice? Is this choice positive? Will it negatively affect anyone in my life? Is this decision destructive in any way?” BUT! They are essential questions to ask. You can’t reach pure happiness until you let these things fall away. Once that happens, once joy is the forefront of your thinking, the rest of it falls in place. I’m not saying things won’t come up because, shit happens. I’m saying that making these cognizant decisions makes everything so much easier…resulting in happiness. Residual effects, ya hearrrd.

We really underestimate the power of conscious happiness. It snowballs in to so many other things and replicates in to conscious positivism, breeding all the happy things. This kind of happiness radiates; I feel it from other people and its addicting. Once you encounter that one person that you know is internally happy, you want it for yourself.  I think it’s really awful that people associate self-appreciation for arrogance. There is abso-fcking-lutely NOTHING wrong with being happy, happy to the point of irritating. I should know – sometimes I irritate myself, and I’m so grateful for that. When you’ve seen the ugly flipside of that smiling reflection, you’re so beyond grateful to be that annoyingly cheerful person.

“What are you on? And can I have some?”

“Absolutely. Wake up, choose happiness.”  The end.


2 thoughts on “bonheur 

  1. “It is possible to find happiness in letting go; you just have to allow yourself. I’m not saying it feels good, and I’m not saying it’s easy, but you will be happier when you let go of the things that bind you to negativity…” yes! So true. I had a crappy day and the old me would’ve wallowed in that awhile. The new me went outside, walked, and saw the beauty of the ordinary. The world IS amazing. Thank you for your fine words (and I’m with you on the coffee beans!)

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