these things and more

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I feel compelled to write about mistakes. the word on the page is horrible to look at: mistake.

a nasty word; discouraging and tasteless, right? Defined as: an action or judgement that is misguided or wrong.

I hate the idea of consciously making a mistake. We know when we do it and we know it’s wrong when it’s happening, but what happens when we think we’ll eventually be able to justify the slip? I realize that this makes my judgement capabilities seem extremely skewed and I don’t think this way, but I’m curious. Do we consciously make mistakes, hoping to offer countenance for them later?

I made questionable decisions leading up to my departure from New Orleans. Some I stand by, some I’m not proud of, some I don’t want to think about ever again. All mistakes that could have been avoided had I had my head on straight, but that’s really no excuse. That’s something – we’ve got to stop making excuses for our lapse in judgment and just fucking own up.

Mistakes  have a way of helping us build something strong to stand on, where we can firmly plant our feet for the foreseeable future. Grounded in honesty; that’s motivation in a pure form.

We’re only human. Sometimes our judgement is clouded by one thing or another, sometimes, in the moment, it seems like we’re making a great decision, no matter how selfishly. I truly believe that it is the aftermath that measures your character. I don’t think it’s the mistakes that define us, I think it’s how we handle them after; something we are all still learning. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to carelessly make mistakes just to test what kind of person you are. I’m saying when you make a mistake, be strong enough to own up to it and do what you can to correct it.

Mistakes should never remain present in your life.

This just came to me and I had to write it down. I think we dwell so much on what’s been done to us and what we’ve done that we can’t see the good in things. YES. I will happily admit that I made a decision or two last year that was completely wrong, unjustifiable; but I have squared myself with those things and moved on. It is wasted energy to hold on to negative things. I feel like I get on this soap box quite often, but I spent a fair amount of time wrapped in a negative, energy-sucking bubble-wrap and I can’t condone it, for any reason under any circumstance; it’s inexcusable to me at this point. Put positive energy in to every thing you do and things will change. I feel like major mistakes have been less frequent for me in 2015 (which is almost over OMG) because I have worked on conscious positivism. I will obviously never conquer this, but I’m working on it and it’s paying off.

Closing thoughts on one of my least favorite words: don’t let others beat you up for things that you’ve done – good or bad – and be kind to yourself about the mistakes you’ve made, noting to never make them a second (or third) time. Learn, heal, let go. Remember that  your mistakes are the reason for where you are today…and personally, I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

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