hot fun in the summer time

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my cleanse begins today, and I am happy to report that I actually feel ready, all thanks to the near perfect weekend I had. It felt like the welcome of summer; that specific, nostalgic feeling from your childhood that you can’t ever recreate…yeah, that feeling hit me in a few awesome waves over the weekend and it was attitude changing.

Cleanse Goals, Week #1:

1. Obviously pay attention to diet and exercise.

2. Finish Dune. – I’ve only been “reading” it since March and I have so many books I want to read this summer. Sub-goal — one book a week, regardless of how long.

3. Spend as much time outside as possible. – easier said than done since I work inside for 8 hours a day!

4. Get a decent amount of sleep every night. (at least 6 hours)

5. Increase water, decrease coffee. – I drink a ton of water every day anyway, but I need to get serious about it like I was. I haven’t had coffee yet today and I think I’m going to pass on it all together.

I don’t find those goals daunting in the slightest.

ZING.

I had a breakdown on Friday night, for the first time in a while; like a legit sob-fest all because one Death Cab for Cutie song came dripping through my speakers. I didn’t anticipate what participating in a wedding would do to my brain. Memories came flooding in, both good and bad, and they just took me over. It made me stop and realize that I have pushed and pushed and pushed myself to be busy and distracted. I’ve forced myself to think only positive things, which isn’t bad by any means, but it kind of puts the negative behind a rose-tinted glass. I’ve come to grips with the fact that it’s okay for things to be a little bit ugly for just a moment, because I woke up the next day feeling light as air, like a weight had been lifted. I think I’m in a place now where I can learn to actually let go of the things that I’ve been bound to, instead of finding other things to occupy my mind to keep me from processing. That’s ultimately what I need to do, so here we go, full on in to a cleanse of all kinds of things.

It’s amazing what can happen in a year, truly. I didn’t experience the seasons change much last year between dark days and working doubles. It was miserable since summers growing up, even in to my early twenties, we filled with long days outside in the sunshine. That’s what I did yesterday, I spent hours in the sun with friends and it transmitted such renewed hunger and lust for life, I just want to walk outside and dig my hands in the earth and rejoice.

I’m really looking forward to the next three months of summertime anti-sadness. All kinds of little mini weekend getaways and random things happening OUTSIDE. I can’t wait to be at the pool endlessly in the afternoons. I can’t wait to go canoeing with my friends and do all of the yoga I possibly can outdoors! I’m planning a little beach retreat for myself as well; might even look in to making that a camping trip, who knows. Summer is going to lead me to some interesting places, that’s for sure.

I’m beyond ready for a little hot fun the summer time! SO IT BEGINS!

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