darlin’, you release me

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I can’t help but ramble about a few things today, so bear with me.

First of all, about my round of drinking Friday night….

I had such a blast. Started out celebrating with my sweet mom and step-dad to congratulate my mom going back to work with CASA – if you don’t know what that is look it up: http://www.casa.com

I loved toasting to her, celebrating success in her professional life; she’s the new director for CASA in another parish now and she’s seriously over the moon. While I know she enjoyed the work she was doing at her old job, I know her heart is in this more; non-profit work just runs in our blood. So we’re drinking and being merry, a good time indeed. Except that my mom can drink faster than me; when did this happen? “Well, I’m thirsty!” She’s so cute and giggly after two drinks – give her three and you’re practically peeing in your pants from the entertaining things she says.

I think I was on drink three when I received a text from my friend Jared asking if I wanted to go out and it took me a minute, but I subconsciously said, “what the hell, why not?” and replied, “YES!” I’d had a semi-trying work week and knew I could use the relief of getting out of the house and out-and-about in town. Annnnnnnd, I selfishly wanted to show off my new hair – yes new hair, again. Thirteen inches total gone since Thanksgiving and I want to cut more! I just can’t stop.

Jared tells me he’ll be around to scoop me up at 10…AT TEN! Holy smokes, I am old. I instantly regretted saying yes – my bed time is solidly at 10-1030 EVERY night of the week, usually even Saturdays. Thoughts of my soft pillows and warm blankets began to creep in…but no, “NO!” I told myself. “You are going to put your damn face on and have a great time.” And that’s exactly what I did. I had a marvelous time drinking with friends I haven’t seen in ages, that we randomly ran in to; I love this, the holidays seem to breed it. I loved every minute of talking to Jared about all kinds of things and solving the world’s problems, one Jameson at a time. I loved shoveling Taco Bell in my face at 1:00 in the morning and having my mom look at my like I was a crazy person. But here is what I learned from my Friday night of loving life:

I can’t handle my liquor quite like I did when I was 20-23. I didn’t get sick but my entire body felt like someone had pushed me down twelve flights of stairs all day the next day.

Taco Bell now gives me heartburn. WHAT THE HELL. I once was able to order one of everything on the menu (a semi-exaggeration but not much of one. Cheesy-gordita-crunch, anyone?) without batting an eyelash – and it never made me sick.

I used to be the cute, half-naked girl, sitting in the freezing cold outside of the bar in nothing but a spaghetti strap, sparkly top and jeans with heels, screeching, “no, I’m not cold at all I sweeeeeeeaaaaaar.” Even though my nipples could cut glass. Now, I am wrapped in scarves and tunics that go down to my knees and I fuss about whether or not my crotch is covered, because, “I literally just can’t.”

I still haven’t mastered the art of making myself take off all my makeup. I get as far as taking my contacts out and I’m totally exhausted. Then I look in the mirror when I inevitably wake up, four hours later when my stupid, awful, hateful, mean-spirited internal alarm clock goes off and shudder at my appearance: mascara smeared all over the place and my eyelashes are plastered together; tis not a pretty sight.

I still have a solid regime in the morning that I have believed in and sworn by for years:

A coke, or the like, first thing when you wake up. – that Dr. Pepper was bliss in a can at 5:15am on Saturday, let me tell you. If I’m so lucky to fall back asleep (for what? another 45 minutes, maybe?) orange juice is next. Then a small glass of milk. I don’t care how much you hate milk, drink it. It coats your stomach and almost instantly gets rid of the queasy, bubbly tummy you’ve probably got. Throw in some Goody’s (similar to BC powder) and you’re right as rain. (along with washing the schmere off of your face and brushing your teeth, for Heaven’s sake.)

I somehow managed to survive a round of Christmas food shopping in Lafayette with my family the next day. I’d call that a Christmas win.

Oh, to be nearly twenty-seven and still figuring it out.

Speaking of figuring it out….

Connecting, re-connecting and disconnecting with people in your life can be so inspiring. I love when those things just happen to happen – do you know what I mean? I am relishing being at an age where I don’t give a damn what people think. I can be friends with whomever I choose and disconnect myself from anyone, anything. I genuinely believe this is extremely healthy. It takes so much willpower to walk away from negative people/situations/things in your life. Do you have any idea what kind of confidence comes from being able to make those decisions? Decisions to leave someone behind, to walk away; or having the guts to admit you were wrong and say, “I’m sorry.” – AND MEAN IT. Its freaking liberating.

That doesn’t mean that walking away or saying goodbye doesn’t still sting. But knowing that you’re making conscious, healthy decisions for yourself, that’s really something yall. Be proud of that person; embrace it.

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3 thoughts on “darlin’, you release me

    • I know, it’s awful. And NOTHING ELSE GIVES ME HEARTBURN. I can literally eat pasta three times a day (I haven’t) and it probably wouldn’t bother me. My biggest guilty pleasure, aside from Meg Ryan movies, and I had heartburn from hell. Great.

      • lol…rest easy…I’m sure it was just the combination of alcohol along with the seasonings they put on the food. You’re still young, get some Zantac or Pepcid and you’ll be just fine.

        BTW…If it makes you feel any better, (which it probably won’t) I had to stop eating spicy hot wings (my favorite food) at the age of 29 because they did they same thing to me. So, you’re not alone. we all have to grow up in these bodies…kinda sucks we can’t remain invincible forever.

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